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Monday, October 20th, 2008
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| Time: | 12:46 pm. |
| Mood: |  wop!wop!wop!. | | Music: | your mother. |
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I've come to realize that it's not my posessions that hate me, it's my life.
Nemo's outta commission (comission?) for a while. Screen won't work. So I'm abusing Timmy in the meantime. Fun stuff all around.
I hope Heph can stand up to this cold weather. Cause even just a few hours up, it's way colder than home. Not that I'm complaining. Snow had better make its way here soon. And Heph is buried in a pile of scarlet and amber leaves (all of which I can now identify thanks to field bio) every morning that I have to dig him out of.
(it is goddamn freezing out, though)
Orgo still blows.
But my bra can be used as a makeshift bowl in a pinch. I don't really know how to feel about that one..
I hope I can figure all this out.
Hah.
Hah.
Hah.
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Monday, October 6th, 2008
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| Time: | 11:14 am. |
| Mood: |  awake. | | Music: | [Stone Temple Pilots] Wicked Garden. |
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So Heph officially hates me. The passenger door won't close anymore. It just sorta bounces off the frame when you try. I blame John, obviously. So I can't really drive it anywhere unless I take John with me and he holds the door closed. And even then, that's kind of iffy. I lashed the door closed using the belt (I thought I was a freaking genius for coming up with that one), but we tried driving without him holding it and the door still sorta opens a couple inches on turns. So I'm essentially never driving without someone in the car again. At least until someone fixes it.
I have to get down to a garage eventually.
I was sorta hoping it wouldn't rain for forever, cause the interior would probably get wet if it did. But as I was walking back from precalc, it started sprinkling. And it looks sorta stormy, so I'm not giving much hope to the rest of the day.
Other than that, nothing's too bad. I'm getting used to only seeing my friends in class and not really any other time. John's useful to have around, or I'd be dying of boredom or crying in a corner. His room is also much warmer than mine. I'm also sorta beyond corrupted at this point. But there's nothing else to do but read and smoke and play Mario Kart and go for walks and do homework.
Might change once I get a job, but they seem to be far and few in between. I've applied to about eight places so far, no joke. And asked maybe fifteen total, but a lot aren't hiring. The only interview I've gotten is from Stop&Shop, but they need someone for the deli or something and the fact that I lack transportation might be a bust now. Second interview eventually, maybe. Whatever.
I still have lab and kiswahili today. And it's raining. And I have to meet one of my friends to study for the orgo exam on wednesday sometime before two.
Pain in the ass.
I haven't listened to my music in forever. It feels nice.
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Sunday, September 14th, 2008
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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
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| Time: | 12:40 pm. |
| Mood: |  cheerful. | | Music: | [Carolina Liar] I'm Not Over. |
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Figure I should get this down for posterity.
So. I'm at school. It's alright so far. I believe I've had all my classes already. Medieval Europe, Precalc, Organic Chem Lab, Orgo itself, KiSwahili, and Field Bio. My teachers for KiSwahili and Medieval Europe seem pretty awesome and high energy, so they should work out. My Field Bio teacher seems to be borderline insane, which works out even better (cause I freaking LOVE insane science teachers, they're the best teachers on the planet). And I get to go outside and see things! I'm excited about that one. Not so excited about having to buy fifty-dollar binoculars, but whatever. I'm gonna fail Orgo, I think. Cause the teacher's a nervous dude and moves around eight bajillion miles a minute. Maybe he'll slow down after we stop reviewing. It's also a lecture, which means there're more than just thirty or forty kids in there. Lab is lab. Hopefully more interesting than the class itself. Precalc blows. And is taught by a soft-spoken, heavily accented, incredibly repetitious Indian woman who's terrible space usage of the chalkboard makes me want to scream.
But there's nothing that can be done about that.
Uh. The room that I'm renting is pretty decent space. Except that I currently lack a bed. Which makes me sad, cause it makes the room look sad. But I'm bunking with John for the week, so whatever. And the place is only about thirty seconds away from school carwise, five minutes by bike (if you're John), and twenty by walking (if you're me). So it's a good distance too.
The fruit snacks that I bought are fucking delicious.
Man cannot survive on bagels and mac&cheese alone. Unfortunately. I should start making sustenant (apparently that's not a word) dinners eventually. That might keep me alive a little longer.
I'm done with class by noon on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays. But I have KiSwahili till around seven at night the other two days. Not so sweet, but that can be dealt with.
I believe I'm making a magical journey to Target/Walmart with John when he gets back from class in.. twenty minutes. Oooh. That's less time than I thought it was.
I need more posters.
And lunch.
Well. I think that's it for now.
Oh. You know what's weird? Seeing guys on campus. Yea, I know. But really, all I want to do is punch one in the face as they're walking by and start yelling about how my body is my temple. Yea, fuctup, I know.
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| Time: | 7:55 pm. |
| Mood: |  optimism. | | Music: | [KT Tunstall] Suddenly I See. |
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So I decided on New Paltz, right? Well it turns out that they lack enough housing for any of their transfer students. Fun, right?
So it looks like I'm getting off-campus housing sooner than I thought.
Also fun.
This summer should certainly be an adventure.
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| Time: | 12:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  alive. | | Music: | [Foo Fighters] Learn to Fly. |
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So by this time next week, I'll be pretty much done with my first year of college. And by this time in two weeks, I will be home and done with finals and torturing the bunny and I might not have any summer homework to do. But who knows what's gonna happen there.
Should have a job lined up. Which is pretty sweet. A not-so-sweet job. But whatever. Money is money and it's still an experience. CVS couldn't've been much better, at any rate.
Decided on New Paltz. Allegheny just looked too hard and open and distant. I'm fairly certain I only got in there cause I'm a minority anyway cause I sure as fuck didn't have the grades for it. The students at Stony Brook actually compared the atmosphere to that of a Long Island high school where "the atypical students are probably quite miserable." So I said fuck to that. Too bad their bio program is so good, though. Oh well. Plus, the town/city of New Paltz reminds me of Brattleboro. And I always liked that place.
Funny story about that, too. Just about everyone but my parents know this at this point. Except my mum has pretty much known where I was going to go as soon as I applied. I seriously hope I'm like her when I'm older. I'm convinced she's got super powers.
I have to crap out a seven-page paper by tomorrow night. I sort of hope to have it done by today cause I want to listen to Simon and Si go at it tomorrow. Should've done it this weekend, but John was over and we all know that even if you intend to do stuff in a situation like that (which I did), it pretty much just doesn't happen.
Bertucci's overcharged me $41.02 this weekend and I'm out for blood now. Bastards.
I hate this weather.
But I love this song.
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| Time: | 1:33 pm. |
| Mood: |  i has no face. | | Music: | mrow. |
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So. Nemo just flipped a cow. I was using him, then he froze. Dave Matthews started skipping and the mouse disappeared and I got a little scared. I'd be less worried, but he's been off since friday afternoon. I just turned him back on a few hours ago. If this had happened after leaving him on for a week straight (which I normally do), then I might blame it on that. Oh well, we'll see what happens.
Hopped up to New Paltz/Syracuse this weekend with Larry. Longest freaking car rides ever. But fun. I prefer traveling with people. When you're alone, it's just boring and sad. On the drive back from Syracuse, I ended up driving for two to three hours cause Larry was slowly dying. Turns out he had the flu. He pretty much crashed once we got him home. In a very literal sense of the term.
(I had to help him up the stairs.)
I'm still really no closer to figuring out where I'm going to go to school next year. Every time I come up with something that can take one school off my list, something crops up that puts it right back on. I've made a pro/con list (lame, I know) and I've had so many freaking conversations about this-with my parents, with John, with my friends at school. And it's useful to talk about, but it doesn't get me any closer to deciding anything. Which is really bothersome and really annoying. Moreso because I know I'm going to look back at myself in a few years and laugh over how complicated I made this decision. But right now, I can't really find any way to simplify it. Also annoying.
Something about this week feels like it's going to be sort of off and wrong. I think that's maybe cause I started it off so strangely. What with Larry dying and spending the night at home and driving back this morning. Don't know.
...I want to know where this semester has gone.
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Thursday, April 10th, 2008
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| Time: | 11:08 am. |
| Mood: |  sleepy (constantly, as of late. | | Music: | [KT Tunstall] Black Horse & The Cherry Tree. |
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So.
I've got about a month left to this year, finals included. I have one of the worst possible final times ever, by the way. Friday (the last possible day) from 3:15 to 6:15 (which is the last possible final time) is my psych test. The best part? I have to be out of the dorms by six on friday. The logic astounds me. But oh well. I don't suppose there's anything I can do but grin and bear it. (And complain mercilessly about it.) After I'm done with school, there will be a maybe visit to Marlboro with John and then hopefully I'll have a job to fill the summer with.
I need to figure out where I'm transferring to in the next few weeks. Before the first of May, to be exact. This is proving to be soverymuch harder than I thought it was going to be originally. I got into all three of my schools (Stony Brook, New Paltz, Allegheny) and they all seem to have equally good/bad pros and cons. (Believe me, I made a freaking list.)
Meh. I'll get it eventually, right? And if not, there's always crying. I'm good at crying. I can do that.
(I'm kidding.
..Kind of.)
Uh huh. That's about all of my life for now.
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Friday, February 29th, 2008
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Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
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| Time: | 1:23 pm. |
| Mood: | nostalgic. | | Music: | [Foo Fighters] Best of You. |
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Yesterday, I think I realized that I can physically overexert myself by standing on my tiptoes stretching to pull down the window shade.
This is a new low in my life.
You have to wonder why the trips to the gym have not helped with this predicament. My pathetic physical stature, that is. That would be the predicament.
I want to say, however, that the severe lack of food and sleep I had that day sorta helped with that. But I could just be pathetic.
It's probably that.
It feels like something should be different, but nothing feels different. Which I suppose is just different in itself, right?
So then.. same is different? And different would be same.
Dunno. I feel muddled. But clear. But mostly cottonbrained.
I wonder if I can pull off more than a 3.2 for this semester. I seriously hope so.
Maybe I worry about things too much.
Hehehe. Maybe I should figure out what I'm talking about before I talk. I think that's always been a problem of mine. I need to ramble to find my point. And then by the end, it doesn't matter anymore. Cause I started somewhere to the left of where I ended and no one's been listening to me but me because I've been straying off topic. But I haven't. Well, not to me anyway. To them, perhaps.
Mmhm. Perspective.
This is ending somewhere it didn't begin. Oh well.
You know how that goes.
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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
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| Time: | 11:36 pm. |
| Mood: |  pseudo-studious. | | Music: | [Rufus Wainwright] Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. |
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So. How about your monthly-ish update from me.
Chem labs blow. Particularly the day before they're due. Unfortunately, today happens to be the day before one's due.
My hair is french-braided in pigtails. I feel sorta ridiculous. And little.
Roommate and I are doing so well we're sleep deprived. We don't stop talking. Ever. It's gonna become very unhealthy very quickly.
I get to see John on friday.
..The pigtails are fuckin' weird.
Kinetics is annoying.
The end.
(edit: dunkaroos are still the shit)
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Monday, January 21st, 2008
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| Time: | 8:11 am. |
| Mood: |  tired. | | Music: | blop. |
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Blegh.
This semester is going to be so. long. Mostly cause I know how slow it goes at the beginning and then all of a sudden it's finals time and I don't know half the shit I was supposed to have learned somewhere in the past few months. And on top of trying to figure that crap out, one has to do fifty bazillion papers in addition to it all.
blehblehbleh
So you live for whatever happens at the end of three or four weeks.
Right. That seems to be all that matters at the moment.
(just keep swimming, just keep swimming..)
Moon's full tomorrow.
I wish I didn't have class today. Like everyone else.
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Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
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| Time: | 5:59 pm. |
| Mood: |  ..stupid thing looks too chill. | | Music: | [Third Eye Blind] Background. |
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I'm so close, so close, to being done.
I will, in fact, be done with my first semester of college in less than forty-eight hours.
..Sweet.
My floor is strewn with papers covered in stupid greek symbols and letters and numbers and complicated-looking equations.
Science will be the death of my small, squishy brain.
Yummy.
So. Chem final, dance final, dance paper. Stupid teacher giving us a final and a paper. I'm well aware this happens all the time, but she's she only one that's done it to me so far. And I am not pleased with her. Not pleased at all.
My friend accidentally slammed my fingers in my door the other day and the nail on my left middle finger is the prettiest shade of blue and purple mixed together in a wickedly cool tye-dye way.
Unfortunately, the other side of the finger is just blue-grey and slightly numb. Like after you lose circulation in something kinda numb. I figured I have time to worry once finals are over. For now, I'll just enjoy the strangeness of the sensation.
Laundry needs to be done on friday, gotta pull all the stuff away from the radiator. Maybe take my lamp down. I hope I don't forget anything.
Hm.. I should defrost the fridge while I'm studying. Right. Doing so.
Anyway. Back to chem studying.
yipyipyipyip
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Monday, November 26th, 2007
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| Time: | 5:52 pm. |
| Mood: |  rainbow. | | Music: | [Dave Matthews Band] Two Step. |
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I realize I only tend to write entires when I'm aligned three spaces to the left of where I'm supposed to be.
I apologize.
Yesterday: John left, I found out that four out of six of my classes are full, and I was uber sensitive/unhappy/weepy.
It's not even my fault that my classes are full! I registered, just like every other freaking freshman, on tuesday, but for some reason, the stupid site didn't save my classes. So now I get to take a course I don't want with a teacher that has bad reviews and a three-credit class that runs from 6:45 to 9:15 on tuesday nights. I never wanted to take a class like that. I'm waitlisted in my one-credit and I got my sociology class for a different time.
guhbuhguhbuhguhbuhbuhbuhbuh
And feasibly, I can drop one of the ones I don't want and still have 15 credits as opposed to 18. Which I guess is still okay. I guess.
Boo.
I dunno what to do, but I guess I'll figure it out next semester.
Lys is coloring and I'm playing inane computer games. I have a chem exam on thursday that I'm not even close to being prepared for.
My entire campus is going insane. At least. My friends are. And seriously. That's my entire campus. Don't care about anyone else.
Break was a break while it lasted, but more like subtle torture in hindsight.
Eighteen days till winter break.
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Thursday, November 22nd, 2007
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| Time: | 12:28 pm. |
| Mood: | chipper. | | Music: | shower squeaky. |
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Wooo for Enchilada Day!
(This picture makes me laugh so much. The icecream is particularly amusing.)
Have a joyful day!
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Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
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| Time: | 9:40 am. |
| Mood: | cheerful. | | Music: | whatever John's got in the background. |
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Funny story.
Turns out I was right about yesterday.
Heh.
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Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
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| Time: | 7:39 am. |
| Mood: | play!. |
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It's
SNOWING!!
whoooooooooo!
Josni thinks today's gonna be a good day.
:D!
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Sunday, October 28th, 2007
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| Time: | 6:31 pm. |
| Mood: | crampy. | | Music: | [John Lennon] Love. |
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Really warm
Really cold?
Oh no.. back to sweating now.
Uncomfort! Discomfort!
And I. Kennot. Fokus. When I am. Diskomfortable.
Nay.
I digress.
(from what, I do not know)
I am not sick! I cannot be sick! I use hand sanitizer! Sometimes even on my FACE. Everyone on my floor's got like.. strep or mono or something-or-the-other. Sharing in college isn't fun. Because people only ever share viruses. Bastards..
I wonder how long the dining hall is open for.
I haven't eaten since brunch, but I'm not hungry anymore.
More sleep. But. Bio reading?
Fuckkkk bioooo.
hahaha
As you can tell, I am not in a right mind right now right mind right nowrightmindddd..
..Right.
(kennotfokus)
Mm.. pills. Tasty stuff.
Yup.
You are now updated on my current state of being.
(heh.. bean)
(..this song makes me sad)
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Monday, October 22nd, 2007
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| Time: | 6:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  stagnant. | | Music: | [Wicked] For Good. |
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So.
Hopped a bus (technically three) up to Syracuse this weekend.
(a cute little seven-hour bus ride to-and-from)
Yea. It was nice.
I could never live in the city alone, but I liked his school quite a bit. His roommate's ginormously amusing. Dining hall food tastes like dining hall food no matter where you go. It's a slightly disappointing idea. But not really.
ensued: "secret" basement passageways, Oblivion (he bought a castle that he's particularly proud of), Edgar taped to a wall, Bioshock (little sisters are creepy), prairie dogs, greeeeen, ben&jerry's, Halo 3, serious conversations, not-so serious conversations, stolen articles, a clear/fuzzy decision? (of sorts)
Had a three-thirty-in-the-morning revelation. (Unwanted creepy staring helps with these.)
..Mine
wakkawakkawakka
So. Distance is silly. And I have to keep reminding myself that it's monday and not sunday. The 6:15 AM to 12:50 PM bus ride sorta fucked with my sense of time. Not that it was that great to begin with. It also sorta fucked with me. I can't concentrate, but I can't go to sleep yet cause I've got a bio lab to do that I COMPLETELY forgot about, but I can't concentrate, but I can't go to sleep cause..
Yea.
You get the point.
Thanksssssgivinnggggg..
***
(you may disregard this, it's mostly for me to go back and look at later)
( rant )
Things done with no purpose other than just to do them. It doesn't work.
Mmhm.
I have a lab to do.
And then a boy to call.
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meh.
complacent.